What an incredible honor it is, to sit and share energy with another human being. I think about the gift we give and are given when we exchange the stories of our experiences: the things we've seen and the people we've met along the way. We hand over to another person our precious memories: falling in love, surviving a broken heart for the first time, the mistakes we made, the celebrations we shared, those precise moments of recognition when we knew an experience would live in our heart and soul for a lifetime. We do this because we need to know we matter, that our existence means something to someone.
I'm so privileged to hear the stories lived by my clients. I've laughed and cried with them, I've been humbled by stories of immense pain, abundant love, and levels of resiliency that leave me speechless. I have come to understand, like those in my field do, that the shared experience of the human condition cannot be underestimated.
We share the experience of the emotional spectrum: what it means to feel fear, anger, sadness, love, peace, desire....and when we live with constant emotional pain, there is often the sense for many that there is something broken within. It leaves a feeling of being trapped and isolated from others and some people live years feeling this way. It‘s extremely difficult for humans to feel left out, rejected, or shunned by another. It especially makes sense when we consider our only job when we're born, is to get our caregivers to protect, nurture, and love us. We transfer that need to the people in our lives as we grow and form attachments, when we try to find our place in our communities. These experiences of belonging, of being attended to (or not) plant the seeds for how we handle upset, how we cope and communicate, what we believe about asking for help, and how we emotionally survive and thrive.
When we feel we’re broken, we establish and perpetuate cycles of self-betrayal. Healing happens when we take the risk of recognizing that denying our needs is the way our brain was ‘trained.’ We all have a right to be heard, to be included, to be valued...simply because we exist. Honoring needs, setting clear and healthy boundaries with others, forgiving ourselves for times we felt negatively when we were attempting to recover from loss or hurt plants the seeds for healing. We are not broken, we are beautiful works in progress.