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Couples

Connection?

seeking

At some point, every relationship needs attention
to keep the bond healthy

 

Noticing Patterns

We are human and we're wired to be connected to each other. So why at times do our relationships feel so painful? The answer is this:  Because we’re just human beings doing the best we can with the little we’ve been taught and we don't always get things right. Even the most solid of relationships can experience times of trouble: it's how we view and address the conflict that determines whether we grow farther apart, or, find greater intimacy with our partners.

 

If hurtful patterns aren't stopped, relationships can evolve into roles that become unconsciously played out time and time again.  This can leave you feeling your partner has left you emotionally isolated, that your pain doesn't affect the person who is meant to keep your heart safe, or, that you're so overwhelmed by your partner's emotions that you 'shut down.'  Perhaps you feel uncertain and wondering whether to stay or go, or maybe you want the relationship to work but it's hard to find common ground.

You are not alone, a lot of us have been there. And, no matter how far down the road your relationship may feel to you, there is still time and hope to make it better.

When Therapy Works

Beginning a course of therapy may seem intimidating, especially when involving a partner. You might worry your partner won’t be open or cooperative, or the therapist will “take their side,” or, that the sessions will bring up painful issues that lead to arguments that never seem to get resolved. If both partners are committed to be curious and are willing to be vulnerable about what is motivating their own choices, behavior, reactions, and emotional needs--then change can truly happen, whether it's discovering a new way to compromise or a newfound sense of passion and commitment to each other. I am experienced in helping couples gain clarity, find common ground, and peace of mind. I want to hear your story and help you have the closeness and the relationship you really want.

What to Expect

Couples therapy is meant to provide a safe place where your relationship is contained by my role as your therapist...I will be aligned with your relationship in a way that supports both you and your partner while offering challenges and new perspectives on what is compromising the harmony between you.  At times, there may be some uncomfortable or distressing conversations, but each session will facilitate your relationship's healing.  I encourage you to keep an open mind.  My goal is to support you and your partner through difficult emotions from a place of empathy and objectivity.  You and your partner can try a session with me and decide together if it feels right to you.

emotionally focused therapy

After years of working with hundreds of relationships, I find the most effective approach to be evidenced-based emotionally focused therapy (EFT). This approach is considered the gold standard for couples therapy and I believe it to be the most helpful in getting couples to discover both the root of their problems as well as increasing understanding and empathy for one another. The EFT method has been extensively researched and highly effective in therapeutic settings, helping couples move past painful and suppressed emotions, change negative patterns, and transform past injuries into positive insights for increased feelings of trust, satisfaction, and a more intimate bond.

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